Our directors took us to tour the Mauthausen concentration camp as a class. Over the summer the European choir toured Dachau near Munich. Both were incredibly somber experiences, but both vastly different. Dachau was so peaceful with cottonwood floating through the golden sunshine; it was hard to imagine so much suffering and death there.

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The memorials at Dachau were very profound. There was one from each of the major religions: Roman Catholic, Jewish, Protestant, and Muslim. The Roman Catholic one truly has stayed with me, and not just because that is the religion I most easily find God through. The memorial was a tall copper cylinder with what appeared to be metal spikes at the front entrance. As I approached until I was underneath the spikes I realized it was the crown of thorns, huge and humbling. The middle of the circular room had a crucifix and an altar with candles and flowers laid on the floor by those who had recently visited. I prayed there for a while, and what the Holy Spirit reveal the most to me was two-fold: 1.) The people here who died were and are the Body of Christ. The Body of Christ suffered and died here. He cried and hungered and longed to find his family again. The people in our everyday are the Body of Christ. Christ is ever present in each and every single person we encounter. 2.) Jesus knows our pain. Even in such a place as this was, Christ was there. He was comforting and loving through kindness done by fellow prisoners. He knows our mental and physical sufferings. Dachau was such a symbol of hope and a memorial for those who suffered so much there.

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Mauthausen was a very different perspective for me. Our tour guide discussed the positions of the SS officers and the towns people in depth. It was so fascinating because we can't imagine that anyone could systematically murder thousands and then go play soccer in the regional team. He discussed the fear behind the towns people not saying anything about the camp, and why they claimed to know nothing about it later. The politics among prisoners was as fascinating as it was somber. True character comes out when you've only eaten thin broth for 8 months while hauling rocks up stairs and out of a quarry every day with no breaks. The tour was very detailed, and the end was incredibly difficult as we were directed through the crematorium and the gas chamber. They also had a room where every name was listed of every person who had died at Mauthausen. At the very end, a sign described how the SS would use an overhead ceiling beam to hang people in individual executions. I looked up to see where it was and it was right above my head. 

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It feels so wrong discussing these things that none of us can truly understand. Survivors today say that they can't talk about it with those that weren't there because they don't understand, and there's no point in discussing it with those who went through the same experience because they know its too much to relive. After Mauthausen, I was in despair and I found myself begging God to never allow this to happen again. Why would You allow this? Because we have free will that is the greatest loving gift God gave us at creation. God is who God says God is. Out of pure, perfect love and freedom that is giving us free will all the time, God mourns with us in our sin. God's own love prevents God from taking our free will away. If God were to just end something so terrible as the Holocaust, then God would be taking away our free will. God loves us so much, that He/She will not compromise that love. God gives us the choice, and then it's up to us.

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I didn't take many pictures of either place because of the nature of them. And I won't post the ones I did take here because I feel that every person should go to these places with an open, un-expecting heart and mind. 

They are memorials and reminders of how purely evil humanity can be in our darkest moments. This was my experience at both places and I hope that my insights, prayers, and powerful moments can remind us that we should learn from this and purely bring more goodness in the world because it starts with us.